This post isn't going to be too theological or anything. So if that is why you read this, feel free to get going now.
I just discovered that I have lost someone I considered to be my best friend for about a year now. I'm not talking like "oh, i'm emo and we're fighting but we'll get over it and make up later." no no. I mean... this person and I are no longer friends. period. Which kinda sucks, but is not totally unexpected I suppose.
This goes back quite a ways to March 3-4. I had posted on my status that I "did not ask Jesus into my heart." Well, Jo's mom took exception with this, and began to piece together many unrelated verses from the Bible and taking them out of context... including the "Facebook Jesus" verse: Revelation 3:20. Sickened and frustrated, I went back in response in full force. I am sick and tired of Revelation 3:20 being raped and turned into a passage that makes "Jesus knock on the door of your heart, begging for you to let him in."
Anway. I responded that Jesus doesn't beg and plead with us to accept him... and people can't be coherced or bribed into Christianity. The reason men don't repent is because men HATE God in the first place... if they did not hate him, they would repent and trust in the finished work of Christ for salvation, period. You can't convince someone or water down the gospel with seeker-driven services at church... or via some silly clowning ministry. These things do no good on their own at bringing people to repentance, because they just seek to be entertaining, not convicting and informing people of their sin and their need for a savior.
Well, Jo's family IS involved with "clowning ministries"... and I was fully aware of this from the getgo. My statements about clowning were not a personal attack ... it was to make a pointed statement to contextualize the seriousness of what I was speaking about. However Jo and her family were VERY offended by my statement.
Time went by, and I thought I had made piece about the situation. However, I could tell things between Jo and I were not the same after that. I never got any IMs from her... no emails or facebook pokes. Nothing. It was extremely obvious... especially when the day after STAR TREK came out, I called her to ask if she got to see it... and she didn't know who was calling. This doesn't seem a big deal, until you take the fact that she had my cell # programed into her cell. So... when I call, it says my name. But no... she did not know, because she had deleted my number.
I sent her an email basically telling her I had been noticing a drifting away... and asked her what the deal was with that. I got a reply last night... that while she had forgiven me about the thing w/ her mom... things that I would do would irritate her like never before, and then remind her why she was angry at me and then she would GET angry ... and the cycle would continue. So while I had been a friend who "had helped her when she was new in the city and been there when she needed," she had deemed that it is best to look back on our friendship with fondness and that the friendship itself "has run its course."
Yeah. ok.
There were many factors contributing to my frustration now though. For instance, she claimed she was interested in figuring out where she stood in the Calvinist debate... but when I had stated to her last fall that I did not want to pursue anything romantic at that time, she flat out stopped caring about those theological issues. To me that says she was only really interested in it because of me... I know med school is busy, but when someone takes time to read 2 or 3 books that are fantacy in nature so quickly as a couple of days... and then NEVER has time to finish the Boice/Ryken book THE DOCTRINES OF GRACE... that says something. That says she was not that interested in the debate and decided to just stick with her Arminian tradition.
Furthermore... she got so upset with my being critical of something I see as theologically incorrect as I was with clowning. Had I been going after an Emergent or cesationist possition, I doubt she'd be so upset. In fact, she'd pretty much be thinking "go get 'em!" But because I stepped on HER toes... and her family's toes... she just got offended.
Nolan's advice when I came to him about my frustration about the drifting was "maybe it's for the best" and implied I should just leave it alone and move on anyway. However I guess this way has more closure. It is just frustrating. I viewed her as a best friend, along with Kacey, Nolan, and Colleen pretty much. But now I'm without that friendship, having it ripped from me. She denied that the drifting had happened since November or so, but I still think it had started then, LONG before we scuffled over clowning. When I came home around then, and then even in December for Christmas break there was no effort in her part to find out when I'd be home or any indication she wanted to spend any minute with me.
oh well.
Comments (1)
Ryan,
A VERY similar situation happened to me, a misunderstanding really but I still took it and used it for a positive outlook on my life. I still searched my own heart and asked the Holy Spirit where I could have done better in the situation, it was not easy. I am a very head-strong person, much like yourself, we do not waver on truth, but we (you and I and many others) have to learn to speak the Truth in Love!
By His grace and for His glory alone,
Tyler Nuzum